Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Well, I did get out today. I took my car to be washed and I went to Walgreens.



I had planned to go to the Lifeway Christian Book store for a 2009 calendar--my sister, Suzy is supposed to be in charge of calendars for me, but she didnt come through this year and didnt ever warn me that no calendar was in the offing---. Alas, life is hard.



While in Walgreens, I found a calendar with scriptures from psalms on every month's picture. It was only $5. The traffic was horrendous on 1960. Businesses even had police officers directing traffic on 1960 to enable their customers to enter 1960 from their parking lots. What a mess. Anyway I was relieved to not have to go to the Christian book store. Walgreens is just down the street from my house and I dont even have to get on 1960 to get there. Life is good



I cleared off one of my sink areas before I left on my outing. My knee is still a bit of a problem and I used my walker at the car wash. I just hobbled into Walgreens and used the cart as a walker.



I enjyed sitting out on the patio today and listning to Christian music on my radio out on the patio and watching Helen, Robert, Oscar and Vern.



I am enjoying this quiet house. Now everytime, I say that, please know that I love having my renters here, but it is just nice sometime to "wall myself off' from humankind. My knee is preventing me from doing the cleaning and the straightening and the throwing away that I really want to do. I will work more at it tomorrow.

I do not plan to watch the "ball drop" as Vicki would say. I hope you all have a very safe and peaceful night with as much fun as you desire to have tonight. or the new year of 2009, I wish you the blessings of good health, friends and days filled with good memories.

May God richly bless you, my loved ones. jk

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Possible clarification of the identity of the fish: Helen --red fish Robert--white fish w/red spots Vern--black and white spotted fish. Vern is the biggest fish and the most non-pretty of the set of four, but who will ever tell him, because he is the biggest, by far. Oscar--white fish with red spots on his head and other parts of his body. I get him mixed up with Helen when he is swiftly swimming around in the pond. Matthew and Ramona will further clarify when they return. Until then, I am content to be here with Helen, Robert, Vern and Oscar. Bandit and Chico did not make it to December. I never really paid any attention to Oscar when he first arrived. I may not have been here when he arrived. Some fish lost their life when Ike came to town. All of the algae-eating fish died during Ike's sojourn in Houston. Oh well.
I just tried to make the font smaller by using the techniques suggested tome in a response to an earlier blog by one of my readers, Anony Mouse. It appears to have made a difference, but I will await the font size of the posted blog.

This is my third day of being alone. Ramon, and Matthew, please know that I love my life with you all here, but it is just that I have not had any "alone" time in so long and it is nice to have it to reflect and to just do my lazy-day routine. Yesterday, I went through Starbuck's drive-though and purchased a tall and a venti decaf,non-fat, latte with shots of sugar free vanilla and splenda. I drank one yesterday and am drinking the heated up venti right now. I forgot about getting it until about 3o minutes ago. It is delish.

I just came in from outside where i fed the fish. they still remain on the bottom but do swim up a bit higher. I can clearly see Helen, Robert, Chico and Vern. They are really pretty fish. Helen and Chico are orange--Helen is all red and Chico is red around the face and the top of her/his head with a white belly and white on the underside of his/her head. Robert is white with orange spots around his back and Vern is white, heavily spotted with black spots. The pond is so pretty and I do enjoy sitting out there. It has a small pump in the center, and a small water fall coming out the side, so I am able to hear the continual flow of the water. It is nice. I sat out there as Flash did his business. Then I sat for a bit longer. I have two rocker chairs and a glider out there. Nice.

This morning has been spent in my room mostly with my Christian music on the radio interspersed with Charles Swindol, Tony Evans and Elizabeth Eliott's replacement. Good music and good words. So enjoyable to hear Christian music filling the room. So uplifting and sometimes so powerful. Praises to our King.

My knee is much improved today. I plan to rest it for one more day and then perhaps go to the Christian book store on New Year's eve--tomorrow-- to purchase my 2009 calendar. My sister, Suzy, has been responsible for getting me a calendar for the past ten to fifteen years, but I have heard naught from her this year about a calendar for me, so I guess I will have to take care of that for myself. Alas.

It is so good to be home. I am confident that I will feel even more glad to be here when I get my room and bathroom cleaned up and get the junk thrown away. I do love this home. It feels like "home" to me. I remember when I first purchased it, it didn't feel like home for a while, I do remember when I realized it was my "safety nest". A place I long to be. This is such a nice feeling. My home in Fairfield was filled with sadness and I stayed there for too long probably, but I didn't have the strength to move. This home was my refuge and place of peace in the storms of life. I remember my brother-in-law and his family visiting me and I remember him gathering all of his family--my sister, Suzy ,my nieces and nephews--around me while I was sitting in a chair. Morton prayed a prayer of blessing on this home and on me. I know God heard that prayer and has blessed me in these days. God is faithful and so very good.

I hope you all are having a wonderful time of being with your family or whomever you happen to be with, or even if you happen to be alone, I know you are in good company.

May God richly bless you , my loved ones. jk

Monday, December 29, 2008

I spent my first night alone in my home since I have been here. It was devine. Matthew, Ramona, and Karsen pulled out of the driveway around 1o'clock yesterday. Flash chose to stay her with me and I like that. I like to have dog that belongs to someone else permanently and whom I can enjoy in the interim. Flash sleeps with me. He is an Italian Greyhound, which is a very skinny and small dog. He sits in my lap when I am seated and sleeps with me each night.

I finished watching the Texans whip da Bears and then went to Walgreens to pick up my perscriptions which had been retrieved from the Newburgh Walgreens. When I picked them up, I thougt well, I am back in the grove with my meds situation .

Then I went to bed and slept for a good while and then woke up around 2.M. and checked my e-mail and Facebook info and returned to bed. Several times, I took Flash outside, or rather let him go out in my back yard to relieve himself. Life is good.

My plan is to rest my knee today to the max and hopefully be more able to get around on it without the walker. If i need to use the walker, I will. It is just so embarrassing to use it in my own hometown. I don't want any of my friends to see me using it. I think they will cry and the word will get around that I am about to croak. I don't want that. Hopefully if i can give it just idle time today, it will respond positively as it has in the past. I think i have not done it right since I have been home. I am walking on it and making it weaker and weaker. Hopefully these few days of aloneness, accompanied by inactivity, will be just what the knee needs.

Don't get me wrong, I love having Matthew , Ramona and Karsen here all the time. It is nice to know I will interact with human beings daily. I get to see Karsen and hold him and talk with Ramona and get to know her better and of course, I do enjoy Matthew and his personality and the work he does for me.

Remember the outside pond? The fish are really big now. Robert is almost big enough for one person's dinner. JK (JUST KIDDING) This morning I went outside while Flash was relieving himself and sat on .the patio furniture and fed the fish. It must have been too cold for them because they never did come to the top of the water to get the food, but they did swim around in bottom of the pond. The water is clear and I can see all the way to the bottom of the pond. It appears that I have four fish. Helen, Robert, Chico and some other fish I can't really see that well to name. Actually, I am not sure I really know anyone's name except for Helen. I do know that Bandit did not make the life journey to December. I may be mistaking Robert for Vern. I will have Matt and Ramona reintroduce me to the fish when they return, which is supposed to be on the 31st or the first. I am hoping they return on the first to give me more time to do the cleaning and straightening in my own bedroom and bathroom that I want to do before they return.

Another wonderful thing about them living with me, is my ability to see Karsen every day. I know Matthew and Ramona will move out at some point in time, but I think it is good for me to have daily company and forced interaction with those I love .

My weight has not been coming off, but rather maintaining the huge weight I was before surgery. I will go to the doctor sometime this week and determine the course of action. Hopefully, I will return to exercise and weight counseling . It is embarrassing to have such a self-control problem, but I am in a place here in Houston, to get the extra help needed to help me accomplish my goal of a physically healthy body which will enable me to be productive and do things with ease, or with more ease than I now possess.

I spoke with Matthew when he was thirty minutes from his Clovis, New Mexico destination so I am confident they completed the trip successfully. They drove from about one until 11:30. What a drive, but don't you know they were glad to be able to stop and rest?

Hopefully, all is well with you all and I trust you will have another grand day.

May God richly bless you, my loved ones. jk

Sunday, December 28, 2008

It is so good to be home. sleeping in my own bed in my own bedroom with my Tempurpedic is getting better every night. Waking u and seeing my grandson, Karsen, and being able to hold him every day is wonderful. I really am so very blessed in both Newburgh,Indiana, and in Houston, Texas.



I purchased a garage door opener and Matthew installed it and moved my car into m own garage where it belongs in it own space. I look forward to being able to take it to Mr. Detail and have it be put in sparkling clean order. Did I tell you I purchased a 2005 Lexus 430 on June 18 and promptly drove my "new" car to Newburgh and didn't come home until December.



I treated the car with "Kid gloves" for the entire week I had it before going to Indiana. Once in Indiana, as you know, I stayed and stayed and stayed. Using the car to take my dear, dear grandson on every adventure we traveled. My brand new car, had a door left ajar and the battery went dead. It had children needing to be told to "not touch anything" in Grammy's car. This lasted for about a week an then they began to feel so comfortable in it. Aidan even felt comfortable enough to vomit all over the floor in the back. This required Dr. Detail, of Newburgh, to have his crew do what they thought was the impossible--get the chocolate stain out of the carpet as well as the smell out of the crevasses of the carpeted floor. A pristine vehicle was the result of his efforts. Then the garbage can rubbed up against the car and left a couple of small white smudges on the car doors. Next, the van (when I was trying to maneuver around my car in the drive way), left a red smear on the back bumper of the Lexus. Alas, my new car appeared not to be so new anymore.

I want to get it to Mr. Detail in Houston, so I can pretend I just got a new (2005) car and I can enjoy it. Also, while in Newburgh, I had to leave my car out in the elements because Michael Sr. has a one-car garage whixh he uses for storage and not cars. Now that Matthew has installed my new garage door opener, my car has an enclosed place to rest out of the elements and its paint can remain glossy and new looking. The car is black. I do like to drive the Lexus. The seat warmers, which will probably never get turned on in Houston, are devine in Newburgh. Oh the wonderfulness of the toasty feeling one can get inside of a Lexus in the dead of winter in Newburgh.

Ramona and Matthew are leaving for Clovis, New Mexico, later on today and I will be alone in the house of for a few days. This will be nice. I hope to clean out some of my stuffed-to-the-max drawers and finish unpacking from my trip home. Matthew has brought in all of my stuff from the car (I even packed and drove home with a big garbage bag stuffed with trash that I meant to leave off at the big garbage can outside Michael's home, but somehow got it inside my car for the drive home. It was so cold, nothing smelled, However,it began to smell when I left it in the car for another two days here in Houston. Oh well, at least it's not a new car.

It is good to be home and sharing life with Ramona and Matthew. I get to know Ramona better and better and of course, be around Matthew and oh, so wonderful to be able to see Karsen every day. He is so beautiful and such a good, good baby. He is walking and playing so sweetly. He is such a good baby. I got to put him to bed for the night for the last two nights as Ramona and Matthew had gone shopping to return some things. At 8p.m. Karsen just lies down so easily and is such a happy baby. Ramona has done a wonderful job of gently talking to her son and getting his routines established. Matthew is a good, loving daddy and loves his son and his son loves him, but Ramona is the one who has the most contact with Karsen and she is the one who has set the standard for the care and the type of care Karsen is receiving. He is a blessed little boy and we are all reaping the benefits of her care pattern and her care plan and her consistency with Karsen. He obeys with a soft word. He is very dear to me and I feel so glad that God has allowed me to experience such love and joy in my later years with my grandchildren.

I will not go to church today because my knee is not doing too well and I have begun to use my walker again. I haven't been using it the entire time I have been home, but I have been walking with a decided limp. I am going to walk with the walkerd for a few days and try to relieve my knee. I do not want to go to church with my walker. It is supposed to rain this morning.

Slowly, things are getting back into line.

I miss so very much seeing Michael Sr. everyday and being with Brendan, Michael Jr and Aidan everyday. This time was so very special and I will treasure it in my heart for the balance of my days. Always hoping I will be blessed with an extended time with them again in their lives.

Well, it is now 4:30a.m. and I think I will return to bed. My computer has just now been available to use. It takes my computer a few days to get adjusted to the new setting of Houston. Now it is adjusted and my computerising has resumed.

I trust that you all had an enjoyable Christmas and were able to let your loved ones know how much you care for them. This is can be such a wonderful time of year.

May God richly bless you , my loved ones. jk

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I am home. Two days on the road. The first day in some of the ice that hit Indiana' s southern edge. After iI passed Mount Vernon, Indiana, and highwy 55, I was on easy street. No ice and cars driving at regular speeds. Got only as far as Blytheville, Arkansas and called it a day. It took me three hours to get 66 miles in the beginning. I was on the roa for the second leg of the trip by 5:28 a.m this morning. Made it as far as Nachidotious and was falling asleep while I was driving so I stopped and got a room and slept for a solid two hour. Felt very refreshed and drove the rest of the way home. It was only a little more than two hours. I was home by 8:30p.m. Karsen and Ramona came out to meet me. I held Karsen and couldnt believe how heavy he was. He felt so good in my arms. I held him and held him close and it felt so good.

It is good to be home. Joe Cox, my plumber from Newburgh, called me three times to see how I was doing. He called me while I was still in Michael Sr.'s house and told me not to go through Kentucky, which was my original plan, because of the ice. That was the best advice ever, because a second ice storm hit Kentucky and I would have been right in the middle of it. Thank you, Joe. went west from Indiana, to Illinois, to Misssouri to aAkanss to Texas. Great road , great trip. It is so good to be home. My bed feels even better than I remembered.

I went to bed around 10p.m. and awoke to the smells of pecan pie and a cherry pie that Matthew has made. Ramona has made the dressing. Wonderful Christmas smells throughout the home. There is no place like home.

Merry Christmas to you all, dear friends. jk

Monday, December 22, 2008

This will probably be my last post from Newburgh.

Today was our Christmas. The boys and their dad left the house to purchase rtheir Christmas tree. They returned after about four hours with a boxed tree from Walgreens. In less than thirty minutes, they had the tree out of the box, decorated and lit. The boys did the erecting and putting together will a little bit of directing from their dad. I sang Christmas carols, or attempted to sing, while the erecting was occurring. When the tree was finished, the boys and their dad, stepped back and called it "Great". Then the boys were sent down to the basement where they waited until the gifts had been brought out and placed around the fireplace and the wall. Then the boys were called upstairs and the opening of gifts began. Aidan wore the Santa hat and he was the one to pass out all of the gifts. The boys were all excited and so pleased with their gifts. Then they began to play with different gifts and with each others gifts and it was like the great Christmases we had when the noise dies down and everyone is intent on whatver they choose to be involved in.

While this was going on, Joe the plumber came by to say the wrong shower door came in for the downstairs bathroom, and he would not be able to complete the bathroom for a few days. Alas. I will not be able to see the finished product. The electician has to return to fix the exhaust fan and the lights inside the bathroom Oh well. It has been a great activity that has had me involed in it since the boys were in Schtland. If you remember, this was supposed to be completed by July 18th. Oh well, it is only the 23rd,isnt it?

Right now the boys have all gone to go get our dinner. They wanted to take me out to dinner, but I asked for it to be brought in, since I am having such difficulty getting around. They have gone to get it now. I am having grilled salmon with rice pilaf anf some other good stuff.

While the boys are gone I am supposed to be getting my stuff together for the boys to load into the car for my journey home tomorrow My plan is to get up and get ready, wake them up and have them see me off and then be on my way. I plan to pack this computer so this will be my last post utill I get home and find a convenient place to place this computern and thenn determine if there remains a need for this blog to continue.,

This has been a really really good day. Actually I can walk around the house without having to use the walker, however, I am stumbling a bit. So I will probably use the walker tomorrow but I will have the cane ready in case I can move with the cane only. I am amazed that my knee is as good as it is today. I didnt realize it until I was setting out the gifts.

Right now I have my own personal clothes in the washer. I will put them in the dyer and pack them so when I get home I will have all cleam clothes.

Usually when I trasvel this journey home, I wear the same thingf for both days. This enables me to get into th motel easier (No luggage) and out on the road the next morning. I will fix my face tomorrow and not fix it again until I get home. I am a lovely traveler.

I have already shed a few tears today at being faced with the finality of this entire venture. This will never occur again. What a wonderful time we have had. Being with Michael Sr. for so long and through such trials and being able to help him. Being with my dear, dear grandsons. Our bond has been etched in stone and will last for the rest of our lives, I am sure. What a wonderful time we have shared. I do love my son, Michael, and my three grandsons., I am truly a blessed woman. Sorry for all the smaltz of the earlier post of the day. What in the world was wrong with me. Let's forget it ,OK?


At the point where I was here in this post:
The boys just returned with the food. They came in the house with suits and ties on. They said they had planned to take me out to a fine restaurant and wear suits in honor of me. They were so handsome and of course, I cried. They wanted me to see them in their suits even though we were going to eat in. They cleared the table and Michael Sr. took pictures of me and the boys and they sat at the dinner table with me and we had conversation( Remember the initial instruction regarding"conversation") with me and ate their pizza as we ate together. What a wonderful end to a wonderful time.. They all had a little speech they said of how much they thanked me for taking care of them and their daddy during all of his surgeries. They said they wanted to honor me. Michael sr. just stood over to the side and beamed at his sons and his mother. What a wonderful time.

Resumption of my post:
I will close now. Thanks for accompanying me on the journey. Please know that you all and your comments to me, or just my knowing you were there, meant the world to me. Thank you so much for taking the time to follow me in the journey. Thank you for your prayers, The closing I have used throughout this blog is from my heart. Please believe that.

May God richly bless you, my loved ones. jk
While I have begun this post at 4:54a.m., on Monday morning, it is a rehash of yesterday's experiences.



I made it to church with my walker leading the way. I went to Bible Class, too, after church. The singing at the church service had us singing all of the verses of "O little Town of Bethlehem" and interspersed though these verses we would sing "Make Me a Sanctuary". Tears flowed from my eyes, for that is what I want to be, a sanctuary for my Lord to dwell and for His Spirit to reign in my life. A beautiful time of communing with my Lord. The sermon was about the path,(singular) to God. In the kindest of voices, the minister spoke of the sacrifice that was made on the cross and the single path to God through faith in our Savior. An invitation was offered. I pray God's richest blessing on this body of believers. Jesus Christ is the focus of every word that is said and every song that is sung. An entire service of praise. The class is studying Acts and we were in the last of chapter 5. Great discussion and thoughts were shared. The Bible is such a wonderful source of blessing and it is evident in what is gained from Bible study. The class was so sweet to me. Without my asking for it, they prayed for me and my trip, for my grandsons and for Michael. So touching and so unexpected.



I am sort of low key, for me, here. I make comments in class, but I am not so outrageous like I think I can be sometime. Here I have consciously tried to not create a scene where I am the focus. I am working on myself. Pray for me. To my family: I have led a life of desiring to be accepted and loved by everyone. That has been my focus. I have felt so inadequate around you all and like I am not as good as you all are. I realize that while my efforts may have not seemed overt to me, they have been overt to everyone around me and possibly disdaned. I apologise. I have always been so afraid I would lose your love and respect and your desire to be around me. I didnt want to be alone. I am sorry and I apologise and I ask your prayers on my behalf. I dont know why I felt this way, but I know I have felt this way for years and years and years. (I am not going to count the "I"s in this paragraph and I request that you dont either.)



Michael Jr. slept with me. Actually, I slept pretty well, although I did get up really really early this morning. Hopefully, I will be able to return to bed for a bit prior to the boys waking up. We didn't get to sleep until after 9:45p.m.



The boys' mother downgrades Michael Dr. to the boys and I ask you to pray about this. She is subtle about it but consistent. In front of the boys, Talking about Michaeol Sr. not being the one to pick me up and saying "Michael Sr should be doing this and not you" in front of the boys, and saying regularly that Grammy is the one who is taking care of you and calling the Newburgh house "Grammy's house". Subtle, but mean. She holds up, Troy, her boyfriend, as the epitome of what a man should be. She is really trying to get the boys to see him as the best example of what a man/father should be . He, of course, while he is a nice man, is putty in her hands, which raises his value in her eyes immensely. Please pray about this too. This time the boys have had with their daddy, has opened their eyes somewhat, but Michael Sr. has been so sick most of the time. The have had some great time with him, especially here at the end. I am so glad for that.



We plan to have our Christmas this evening, or this afternoon or sometime today anyway. I will need to find time sometime today to pack my car and prepare for the trip home. Hopefully this will get done and I will be able to get an early start. If it is like my usual behavior, I will not be able to sleep very well tonight and I should be ready to leave early early early in the morning. The only problem with that is that I get really really tired around 10, which is a bit too early to stop.



I trust things are coming together for you all as you prepare for the holidays with your family. My wish for you all is for you to have a very Merry Christmas and that you show and feel the love that was shown to us when God sent His son (I know Jesus's birthday is not December 25) to this earth to take on the flesh of man and live and walk this earth with us and give His life for us.

I love you all so much.


May God richly bless you, my loved ones. jk

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Victory is mine. Job is completed.

Well, I went to bed at 9 after wrapping Michael Jr.'s and Brendan's gifts. Then I got up again at 1 and i have now competed wrapping all of the gifts. I also got out the three scooters I purchased and placed the boxes in the kitchen /family room area so either Michael Sr and I, or Michael Sr. by himself, or me by myself, can put them together before our Christmas Sunday evening. I need to get an air pump to pump up the Hoppity Hops I purchased. I remember getting one of those for Mandy when she was two or three. She never played with it but Michael jumped all over the yard with it every day for weeks. I thought my gransdsons would enjoy it too. Hopefully. I purchased two.

Going to bed now and hoping to get to church early. I love my hair. And... i am so proud of me for getting the gifts wrapped and getting the scooters out. I am a near invalid, you know, This was a very slow process. Slow and steady wins the race and the race is on. jk

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Well, it is Saturday, and things are happnin' again. Today I went to get my hair done for the last time in Newburgh. I really like the way this girl has done my hair. She has now gotten my hair to the point where she was going with it when I first went to her in July. It is cute. She has toned down the "red" and it is more blunt cut in the back and more fashionable, I think. She cut me some bangs, like Kelly's new bangs. (I asked for them, although I didn't calI them "Kelly's bangs". ) She colored it too and it only cost $67, which is way down from the $135 it costs in Houston. This, of course is Newburgh, and things are a bit slower down here. even the price of a really good hair cut.

People are telling me "Good bye" all over the town. The cleaners lady, Starbucks, the butcher and the local Walgreens' staff and today while I was at Reflections (the beauty shop) Dr. Detail, the car detail place owner, came over to tell me good bye. It is so sweet. These people have sort of "adopted' me and they appear genuinely sorry to see me go. Dr. Detail, whom I call "Doctor" , came over to talk to me for a while to let me know what is going on in his life with his former nutty wife who stole his children for three years and whose exploits were documented on America's Most Wanted. After he told me his story, I told him I would be praying for him. (Its like he wanted to spill his soul to me before I left. He had never shared personal things with me in the past.) He hugged me tightly and asked, "When are you coming back?" This is so sweet. They all want to know when am I coming back.

Michael is dong better. His arm still hurts, but not anywhere like it has. It is not gone, but much improved. We had an enjoyable conversation this afternoon. I can tell he is realizing that my time here is drawing to a close and actually , today is our last time to be able to talk as mother and son. He said, "Mother, do you want to watch a movie tonight?" This is the ultimate "invite" from him I believe.

I made us some soup with stew meat from the butcher and vegetables and tomato soup as the broth. This morning I fixed sausages and scrambled eggs with cheese. I left it on the stove, because my hair appt. was at 8am and Michael was not up when I left. He finished the eggs as we were having our little "conversation". He thanked me for breakfast and for the soup. He told me how much he appreciated all that I have done while I have been here. He cited the things I have done, he didn't just say thank you for all the "things" you have done. It was nice and sort of humbling for me. After all, he is my son, and I feel this all has been a gift of an opportunity for me to be able to be "needed" by my son for one more time in his life and in my life. My "time" for being really "needed" by my son has long passed. After all, he is 42. Thank you, Lord, for this gift.

A man is coming by later on today to give an estimate for hauling off all of the stuff from the construction that has been going on here. As usual, he aint here yet.

My goal is to be able to wrap all of the gifts for the children before the end of the day. After all, this is the only time I will have because the children will return tomorrow. I am going to meet their mother half-way to pick them up tomorrow at 3. Pray for a safe trip for us. I should be returned to Newburgh, by 5 or 6, hopefully by 5.

Excitement is starting to build within me, as the time draws near for the boys' return. I am trying to get good sleep in right now because I don't know what sleep will be like when they return. Did I tell you that they told me they stayed up until 2a.m. the first night back with their mother? This is the usual course of events when they are living with their mother. After staying up until 2a.m they got up and went to school to see it for the first time. I have mentioned in past blogs about the fact that I believed Brendan had not ever established healthy sleep patterns. It appears that the old routine is back in place. I know their mother has told me that her apartment is three stories and the boys will have the third story. Because if this setup, I believe that they will have to discipline themselves to get to bed at a regular time. The mother appears to be acting more like a "peer" to them rather than a parent figure who sets guidelines based on what is best for a child., From what both have said tome, they stay up together often to watch their pg 13 movies together an have pillow fights and eat pizza and candy and popcorn. Alas, we have tried for these past 6 months to set some standards. Now it is up to the boys to maintain this. They are 10,9, and 7. Oh well. We will pray.

I continue to be using and needing the walker to get around. I am able to walk without it in the mornings for about 5 to 6 steps and then I get the walker so I don't aggravate my left knee any more than I have to. I hope to be able to go to church tomorrow for the last time and go to Bible class too. I will have to use the walker. This will be hard to navigate the walk to the church and maneuver the building. "Pride" will be the thing that might prevent me from attending. Knowing that "pride" is a sin, will help me overcome my pride and not let sin keep me from fellowship with my fellow believers. I will go. I will get up early so I can have the necessary time to get where I need to go without a lot of attention being drawn to me. A walker is a real attention getter. Alas.

I have been watching the weather forecast for all of the cities that line my pathway home. The temperatures should all be above freezing so, although I will be passing snow, it shouldn't be on the roads. As I get further south, the temps rise and it looks cold, but clear driving. I will not leave if the roads on any part of my journey are iced. Trust me. I will not do anything foolish.

I will close now and try to gather the gifts I have purchased for the boys and get all of the items needed for wrapping gifts together so I can begin the wrapping process and experience the completion of today's goal.

May God richly bless you, my loved ones. jk

Friday, December 19, 2008

My Father in Heaven, Hallowed by thy name. All of the trees cry out your name. The leaves on the trees up here in Newburgh, shouted your name for weeks while my eyes beheld their beauty and dantiness as your wind rustled through the branches. I saw their individual beauty, their uniqueness as they hung together and showed a color mere man could never have imagined if he had not seen it from your hand first. A pink leaf. A purple leaf. One single yellow leaf on a tree. Lost in the radiance of the whole tree, but brightly showing, upon careful examination of all of the colors that made up this certain shade of tree leaves.

The rolling hills with squirrels chasing each other up and down the branches of this beauty, seemingly oblivious of their surroundings other than the other squirrels as they play.

Fields of grain, tall and green then turn yellow and then brown and then harvested and plowed under. Now field after field lie silent waiting for next year's planting.

50 degrees but the sun is shining and it feels warm, but it is 50 degrees. Still it is warm outside. Beautiful day.

The Newburgh sky is clear. The stars really twinkle and the moon glows.

Snow: flakes and these teeny tiny little balls of snow that bounce when they hit the windshield or the street. Did You think it was funny when they hit a surface and bounced like they do? I do.

A huge flock of birds. They are up so high. They look small. Another flock bigger than the last and three more flocks. Everyday, more flocks fly through the skies. To where? I dont know, but You do. You know every bird in each flock and you know when they fall. What a God You are!

Giver of life. Protector. Sustainer. Provider. Giver of souls. Creator of everything that breathes. Creator of rivers and streams, Rocks, all the eye can see. Lover of my soul. Friend, Father God. Holy, Holy Holy Lord God Almighty. Love. Redeemer.Savior.

Thank You for loving me. Thank You for thinking of me. Thank You for never leaving me. Thank You for my eyes that can see the beauty of Your hand, for my ears that can hear the wind rustle the trees and hear dogs bark and birds call to each other or perhaps just sing, for my heart that has the capacity to love and to love deeply and for my mind that can remember how very blessed I am.

Every good and every perfect gift is from Your hand.

You are the one true God and I worship You. Blessed be the name of my God forever and ever.
I slept like a baby in my double bed last night. It felt huge. I awoke at 6:59 and after a short communion with God, I alit to realize that an itty bitty respite from knee pain was here. This should last for a few minutes longer than it did yesterday. It lasted yesterday about 5 minutes. During this time Icontinue to use the walker, but there is no pain. While this is a short releif, it reminds me of how it will be like when it is back to my normal. I put out a wash and have read e-mail and facebook messages and am letting you know about my morning. I will take a shower when I complete this post and then hopefully be able to go to the cleaners and get the tems there before the 9o'clock cut off. Yikes!, It is already 8o'clock and there is no way I can make it prior to 9. Oh well, I will go and leave it any way and get it on Monday. Hope I remember.

I plan to go to Walgreens and get some milk.

The weather here is predicted to get into the lower 50s , so this should bode well for my knee. It is supposed to snow in Indianapolis. the boys will love that. Pray for them. They will be living in an apartment and , those of us who work/haqve worked in the public school system, know how difficult it is for children who live in apartments to receive the supervision they need. It is difficult to receive proper supervision from a hyper-vigilant parent, much less one who is less hyper and when "vigilance" is not invited to the suaray. (I don't know if I spelled that word correctly or not. I meant swar ay' )

I will exit now so I can begin this day. The boys go to their new school today. I hope they are more excited about their school after their visit today. I looked it up on the Internet and it looks like a good school. Its district is a ten star district --the highest designation -- in the state rating system. The school itself is a 7 star school, But as Kathryn and I know, they all cant be Lowery.

May God richly bless you my loved ones. jk

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Well, I made my last run to Scott school with my grandsons. We left a bit later than usual, but w make it though Hardee's drive through and got breakfasts for the boys and a cop of coffee, black, for me. the ridea was uneventful and we laughed and talked like usual.



The boys mother had asked them to bring three pair of pants, shirts, underwear and sock with them to school so they would have them when she picked the up today. Michel Jr. was too embarrassed to bring clothers to school to put in his locker so Brendan went to school carrying his a backpack and two kitchen-sized white trash bags with his clothes and Michael Jr. clothes in them. Aidan was supposed to put his clothes in his back pack, but I did not oversee that job and this morning when Aidan alit from the car at the school, his backpack looked awfully skinny and i wouldn't be at all surprised if he did not pack anything.
I was so busy last night and my knee was really hurting badly and I just didnt oversee this activitiy. Oh, well.

The boys mother had told me that she was going to pick them up at 9 this morning. I did not tell the boys this because I could anticipate their sadness at ther realization that their last day was going to be cut even shorter than they had thought Well, Karen called me this morning and told me that she was running late. I called the school and spoke with the counselor. I told her, Ms. Bagby, the sitation--she has worked with the mother and she understands what I am saying without words needing to be said--and that to be aware of the boys and the fact that they are sad about having to leave their school before their Christmas parties and that they dont know she is planning to come pick them up at 9 or early. I thanked her for being there for the boys and for taking care of them today and being aware of the possible sadness when they leave. I've done all I can do.

I look forward to Sunday, when the boys return for sun, mon, tues. I, of course, plan to leave early tues morning. I may pack my computer and may be unable to post on this trip.

It is supposed to be in the 40s today and my knee is hurting, but not as badly as it has been for the last few days. Hopefully, as I enter a climate that is not as harsh as it is up here, my knee will improve. I would be too embarrassed to use the walker in Houston. I would be embarrassed to use the cane in Houston. I continue to watch what am consuming.

My knee must be getting better, because my back hurts now. jk

May God richly bless you. my loved ones. jk

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Wednesday, December 17. 1:02p.m.



My mercy where has this day gone? I have been sitting in front of this computer for this long and I haven't even started on today's events.



TODAY'S EVENTS

School started two hours late due to the possibility of bad weather. Actually, the sanded bridges and overpasses made the trip to school very uneventful. I dropped off the boys at 9:30 and went home. I did stop by Walgreen's to pick up some of Walgreen's "zero calorie" flavored water, green beans, Christmas wrapping paper, protein bars and some Christmas labels and bows. All the time on the walker. This is a slow process and I am unable to all of get all of the bags into the house, but it needed be done. Usually Michael Sr. unloads the car but with the pain in his arm, and instructions to not even lift a gallon of milk for ten days after surgery, I will leave this task for the boys this afternoon when we get home from school.



Michael Sr. went to see Dr. Eggers, the neurologist, this morning at 9a.m. for a check up. The doctor said everything looks good. The wound is healing fine. The pain Michael is continuing to experience is normal and may go on for days, or weeks or even months, Michael Sr. just needs to be patient and wait out the pain. Michael Sr. is supposed to return to work next 'Wednesday, December 24. Please pray for him.





I will be taking Aidan to the doctor for a flu shot today at 4:00 after I pick up the boys from school. I may drop off the boys at home and then go directly to the doctor's office with just Aidan. Yes, that is what I plan to do.



Dd I tell you that the boys' mother is picking them up early from school tomorrow? My heart goes out to them. They are sad to be leaving school early tomorrow and also missing their last
Christmas party with their friends. Michael Jr. said that he told his mother he did not want to do this, this but "she is doing what she wants to do". Her plan is to take them to their new school and let them see the Christmas program the new school is putting on. She has told Brendan that she has already gotten him a place in this school's choir and he doesn't even have to try out for it. (I just hope she realizes that an early morning session may be necessary with choir and that means she will have to get up and get him to school for this. The boys already think she is getting them a golf cart for Christmas from their grandaddy who owns a golf course in New Mexico so they can drive to the bus stop every day at the apartment complex where they are to live.) Oh, well, it is out of my hands isn't it? From what they have alluded to, in the past, the usual fair is for them get themselves ready for school . Times and things are changing. The Newburgh family has done what we could. God is in charge. Please pray for all involved. (BTW. to my knowledge, the golf cart thing is not happnin'.)



I will be leaving here in a bit to go pick up the boys for the last time. (Michael Sr is not feeling well at all.) Who knows what the boys leaving and his inability to impact anything with their mother's influence is doing to him. It is frustrating for me, and I can only imagine what it does to him. My hope is that the boys involvement with their daddy these last few months will have a lasting impact and they they will be able to, one day, return here for their growing up. I don't know. She is a very powerful person and one does not want to cross her. She has such power over these boys. They do love her very much and appear to me to really feel responsible for her happiness. They are ready to jump to her defense at the drop of a hat if they perceive any indication that feel she, or something she has said or done is being questioned. I say nothing. Hopefully they will be able to see through this situation in time and they will not be permanently scared. God is in charge. He loves them more than anyone. My heart goes out to my son for the helplessness one can have in in this situation. Man alive!

I need to go attend to my afternoon responsibilities.

May God richly bless you, my dearest friends and loved ones. jk

this has been agreat gig. what memories i he to remember. Great times eith the grandsons.
FIRST POSTING on WEDNESDAY with TUESDAY''S INFO
There was no more posting yesterday, as you all realize. BTW I never was able to fit a nap into the day.

I left the house at 1:45pm to be enable me to pick up Michael Jr at school so I could get him to his podiatrist appt. I had planned to have returned home by 4:30, at the very latest,.



The podiatrist visit took longer than expected. We were seen immediately, but they took x-rays of Michael Jr. 's feet. Michael Jr has long believed that he has flat feet and that he needs orthotics in his shoes. He has believed this since he was 4. He says his mother told him he had flat feet and "a doctor told her". Yesterday the podiatric surgeon we went to see, took x-rays and she reviewed both feet with Michael Jr and me. She showed his feet and the high arch he has. (Michael Jr now believes that he used to have flat feet because his mother told him he did, but now he has developed this great arch.) Michael Jr told the doctor that sometimes his mother gives him Tylenol for the pain he feels in his legs and feet sometimes. He said sometime the Tylenol helps and sometimes it doesn't. The doctor said that the pain he is feeling in his feet is probably due to all of the activity he does as an active little boy and this is normal. The pain is near his growth plates, and this is normal for some children. t]The doctor suggested that in the future, Michael Jr be given Advil for the inflammation which she feels is causing the pain. She said that between the ages of 8 and 13 some children feel this pain because of their (some medical term) and that she would tape his feet and see if that helped. She suggested that we talk to his daddy and determine if Advil would be the better drug if Michael Jr. does experience pain. She said the pain in his legs is probably because Michael Jr. is changing his walk at the time when his feet are hurting. He will grow out of this. I reported aloud what he doctor had told Michael Jr. Michael Sr. said, "See, Michael, you feet are normal." Michael jr said, "Yes, Daddy, my feet are normal, I wont be needing any surgery." (The "funny" thing is that their Mother is always diagnosing problems regarding the boys' health. She totally discounts the fact that their daddy is a doctor and knows about health issues. Michale Sr., does not argue with her in front of the boys. The boys believe every word she says. I honestly believe she thinks she knows as much as anyone else on this earth knows, or even more than they know, about any topic. Truly. This morning Brendan told me that his mother had "studied mouthwash" and she said that mouthwash was "bad for your mouth". "It may make your breath smell sweet for a minute or two, but then it makes you have bad breath." You see, I am the one that purchased mouthwash for the boys. When I attempted to defend the use of mouthwash, Brendan interrupted me and said, "Mommy knows because she has studied mouthwash." Look up Borderline Personality Disorder)


Injuries are highly prized in the mother-son-son-son family. She has had tubes put in Aidan's ears because she felt he had a hearing loss because he talked so loud. It doesn't matter that the boys' father is a doctor, she is the one to "diagnose' and label what their ailment is. The tubes did not alter the volume in Aidan's voice at all. These surgeries are paid for by Aidan's father in the divorce decree by Michael's insurance and Michael Sr. I feel the reason Aidan talks so loudly is because both of his brothers do too. They talk and don't listen to him. Summary: This little family of M-s-s-s highly values any type of medical issue. Michael Jr's issue was "flat feet", Aidan's was "hearing loss" and Brendan's is ADD, accompanied by extreme anxiety, which I believe is fostered and nurtured by the matriarch. His anxiety issues, while they are still evident, have greatly greatly greatly decreased while he has been living in Newburgh. Brendan, now knows that the Bible says "don't worry about anything" , but with thanksgiving , let your requests be made known to God. I had Brendan look this up and read it. I didn't tell him what the scripture was going to say, I let him read and discover it himself. He knows that fears are normal. It was so precious when he said to me, "You mean you have had fears too?" I gave him hope telling him that he would grow out of these fears and God would help him. Always take any concern to God. In Brendan's prayers everynight, he asks God to give him strength and courage. I showed him I Peter 5:7. I see such improvement in him. Please pray for him and, of course, for all four of the Kelley boys in Newburgh.


BACK TO MICHAEL JR. & MY ODESSY OF LAST NIGHT'S EVENTS
As Michael Jr and I left the podiatric surgeon's office at about 4:30pm, ice had begun to form on the bridges and overpasses. The city had their sand and ice trucks out dusting the bridges and overpasses, so all of the traffic was being diverted off of the freeways to the access roads to enable sanding trucks to do their thing. That meant we were driving home in the people-getting-off-work traffic. While this was going on with Michael Jr & me, Michael Sr had picked up the other two boys at their bus stop with all intentions of taking Aidan to get a flu shot. Michael Sr.'s arm was really hurting him all day yesterday and he had told me that he might need me to come home and take Aidan to the doctor if his arm pain wouldn't allow him to be able to sit in the doctor's office while waiting waited for the doctor to give Aidan his shot. ( I had left my cellular, as Vicki says, at home.) Michael Sr. was unable to take Aidan to the doctor. He came home with his hurting arm and the boys and waited for me to come home, which didn't occur until 6pm.

Prior to our getting home last night, I had Michael Jr. go into the market and get some ground chuck and some Amish (we are in Amish country)mashed potatoes and then go to walgreens to get some milk and some orange juice. We needed "staples" in case the area frooze over during the night.

I fed the family and then we all went to bed. Brendan sleept with his dad and Aidan slept with me. He is easy to sleep with. Michael Jr slept in his own bed. I sat with him while he drifted off to sleep.

This ends yesterday's info. The next post will follow with today's news.

love you all. jk

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Took the boys to school. Great drive with good conversation. My knee and my leg are not doing well at all. My leg is now added to the hurt. The top of my leg, actually from the knee on up id causing a great bit of discomfort. Very, very uncomfortable. Getting ready to lie back down. Michel jr. slept with me last night which means that I did not get the best of sleep. Will try to let leg/knee relax and allow me to recoup the missed sleep from last night. I will be taking Michael Jr. to the podiatrist this afternoon, while Michael Sr. will take Aidan to get his flu shot.

Sorry for the short post. Hopefully I will be able to post again later in the day.

May God richly bless you , my loved ones. jk

Monday, December 15, 2008

This morning I took the boys to McDonald's for breakfast and to school. Then I went to sit outside Borders until they opened at 9 and "walkered" in and got the book I had ordered that Vicki had recommended, then made new doctors' appointments for Aidan (4:1o on Tuesday for a flu shot) and for Michael Jr (3:00 Tuesday with the podiatrist)

My knee is as bad as yesterday: not hurting when at rest, but excruciating when I walk on it, even with the walker. It is really bad.

Michael Sr went to the hospital this morning which he had to do regarding his personal insurance requirement. He said his arm still hurts, but that he just has to be patient with it. It, of course, is not as bad as when he needed the emergency surgery last Thursday-- He just said it is better today than it was yesterday. It hurt badly last night, but right now it is "mild" pain.

Right now I am not physically able to be of help to Michael Sr' s needs at all.. I used to be able to go to the cleaners for him and do his laundry, but now I just need to rest the knee and tend to the boys. He told me that he will go get the boys this afternoon. Then they will go see the Christmas lights tonight so I will not need to fix dinner for them. I do need to be ready to "be a presence" with them (Michael Sr.'s word) should Michael Sr. need to go to bed when he returns from either picking up the boys or seeing the Christmas lights tonight. Michael Sr, is truly trying to give in to whatever his pain level is and take care of his arm. He wants me to just be here in the room (a "presence" as Michael Sr says)with the boys if he needs me to and he will take care of them.

The boys are leaving to be with their mother on Thursday afternoon or evening. They will return to Michael Sr.'s house on Sunday evening. We will have our Christmas on Monday, December 22, and I will leave on Tuesday morning, December 23, and the boys will spend their last day with their daddy. Their mother will pick them up on Tuesday evening for the rest of the month and they will enroll in Indianapolis schools and begin their life with her up there. The last few days since Michael Sr. 's last surgery have been the best, health-wise, for Michael Sr. since the boys have come to live with him. The boys are on cloud nine and both the boys and Michael Sr. appear to be relishing the time they have together for these last few days. These boys do appear to enjoy being the sons of Michael Sr.

Well, it is 1 pm and I still have not lifted my leg. I will go to bed for a bit and rest the knee and see if that makes any difference.

I guess it is sort of good that I am lame. It makes it very clear that I do need to go home and get myself well.

This entire time up here has been such a blessing for me. God is so good.

May God richly bless you my loved ones. jk

Sunday, December 14, 2008

This day has been better. My knee, while it is still lame, is being rested to the extent that it is only sort of excruciating when I walk. It is no longer hurting constantly as it has been , which has been occurring even when it has been immobile. I have been able to fix breakfast and put a load in the dryer and one in the washer. I have much more laundry to do, but at least I have been able to do some of it before the pain got too great.

Michael sr. is dong better than he has been dong in any of the other post surgery times. He did take the boys to the movie Saturday. Today he watched the Texans play the Titans on and off. He has napped today twice. He stays on the bed much of the day with the door open and the boys going in and out as they share things with him or he calls them in to share things with them. He fixed himself a steak on the grill about 3pm while the game was going on and ate it.
Right now he is in his room because the family is here and downstairs cleaning. One of the little girls is upstairs with the boys playing video games.

9:33p.m.
Michael stayed in his room for the rest of the day. The family left at 7 p.m. Michael sr. came out of the room to get his supper and then he and the boys went downstairs to see what the room looks like. Michael sr. said his right arm is hurting badly again. Please pray about this. How discouraging this must be.

I just found out that the boys will be leaving to go with their mother on Thursday evening. She plans to take them to their new school to see a Christmas program the school is putting on. So the last night I will spend with them is this Wednesday. What a shocker to me that we only have these few days left. It shouldnt be a shock, but it is. The boys will return on Sunday and we will have our Christmas. Then I will leave on December 22. Although Michael sr. just said that I will be leaving on Tuesday morning. So i don't know if I am leaving on the 22nd or on Tuesday, the 23rd. Of course, as the time draws nigh, I will certainly know when I am leaving. Anyway I will be in Houston for Christmas with Matthew and Ramona and Karsen. I think and hope Ramona's parents are sharing Christmas dinner with us, although I just now realize that I have not spoken with her about this in months. I love her parents. Did I tell you all that Ramona's mother is one month younger that Michael sr? Her daddy is about six years older than her mother, so I couldn't be his "mother" but I can be his friend . They are such good, sweet, east-to-love people.

Ramona, please call me.

I did not go to church today,due to my right knee. I did stay off of it for the better part of the day. If i can do this for the next two days, hopefully it will be OK.

Borders Books called me to let me know my book that Vicki recommended is in. So I plan to go there after I take the boys to school. It opens at 9 a.m. and I plan to be the first one in the store. I also need to go to Walgreens for some milk and orange juice and some more joint medicine. Other than these two things, i should be able to rest my knee for the rest of the day until I go to get the boys at their bus stop. I will probably put out another wash or two if I feel I can without jeopardizing the condition of my knee.

I have really enjoyed the challenges of being up here and helping and feeling so needed. The relationship that has been strengthened with my son, Michael sr. is a gift to last me the rest of my days. The relationship that has been established with each of my grandsons will last throughout my life, and in their memories long after I have gone to Heaven. I have given Michael jr. and Aidan a "grandmother's Blessing." I made this up. It is a prayer totally for them and my hopes for their life. I hope they remember this forever. What a gift for me to be able to do this. I do plan to give Brendan's "Grandmother's Blessing" too whenever we are alone. These boys have a tough road ahead. If they keep God as their Guide, they will be fine. That is my prayer for each of them.

Right now I am going to bed and hoping my knee will improve greatly during the night. This way I will be better able to meet the opportunties God puts in my path tomorrow.

May God richly bless you, my loved ones. jk