Supper is over, the dishes are in the dishwasher which is running as I write. The babies have showered and are watching tv before bed. Michael jr. just came in and asked me if there was anything I needed help with. I immediately began to cry. I must be so tired. I fixed chicken & rice and macronni & cheese, which I know was not the most nourishng of meals, but I had all the indgredients here at home which meant i didnt have to go to the grocery store, so that is what i served. They liked it.
I really have been a bit emotional today. Perhaps feeling sorry for myself and the never ending job I have taken on. I am 62 you know. Loads of wash have been done, and clothes have been dried and towels have been folded and put up. Now the second load of towels the boys and I have used today are ready to hit the washing machine. I think I keep thinking I will get caught up, but evidently with living people in the house, that doesnt occur. I would rather be with those who are living than on duty with the lifeless.,
Funny things do happen during the day and we all laugh. The kitchen floor is really getting to me, but I really dont have the energy to get it done., Michael jr. said he liked to mop, but I thanked him and said he didnt need to but thank you for asking.
Today Ii have been bit of a gripe to the boys and that alwys makes me feel less than wonderful. The boys are not perfect and all of you that know me know that I am partial to perfect. Please pray for me.
Did you read Matthew's comment on the blog before this one. His statement was a gift to me. I love Matthew so much as well a Michael. Matthew is the great secret of our family since you all are not able to be around him much at all. He is funny and so good...... most of the time. just kidding, He is my delight.
My back is killing me and I am not over eating. Perhaps that's the problem. My lack of over eating, which I have always done to help me handle stress and used as a crutch to help me avoid dealing things i should deal with is now causingme to deal with what is going on and so i cry instead of chew. I guess i should think that i would rather cry than feel the horrible stuffed feeling i have felt for so long.
I have moved my commputer into the kitchen and that is why I have been able to get on it so frequently today. oh well.
i love you. We get an extra hour of sleep tonight. Aint life grand? I am going to bed. jk
1 comment:
Jan, I am so sorry that we didn't have opportunity to talk yesterday, but I was thankful You were one of the first to hear about Haylee's baptism. Sounds like yesterday was one of those days that tries one's soul, but from the sound of your blog, you triumphed even if it was not without some pain. Jan, I am impressed with how giving you have been for Michael and your grandchildren. I know you love them and that's why you do it, but it is still to be appreciated because plenty of mothers would not do what you are doing. Keep up the good work, and thanks for reading my blog. It means a lot to me. Have a great day.
rd
Post a Comment